The Mile High Club

Recently, while traveling with my husband, I was flipping through the inflight magazine…..what did you think I was gonna say?  I did a double take when I thought I saw an advertisement for a Mile High Club.  It was actually an ad for the airline’s frequent flyer club encouraging “high mileage”.  But it was an amusing mistake nonetheless. Then my mind began to wander, as it often does when left unattended.  

Unless you are one of the superrich who travels in your own private jet, what is the appeal?  Slip into the head, which is barely big enough for one adult let alone two, and make whoopee over the toilet. Yeah, that’s hot.  There's really nothing sexy about being pressed up against the flusher while listening to the flight attendants clang the food carts into motion.  Or maybe you could have a semi discreet romp next to some guy squeezed into the seat next you who smells like sausage.  Now there’s a romantic encounter for the ages.

Then I took it further….no not like that, like this:    What if a good marketing firm convinced an airline that it’s a good idea to create an actual “Mile High Club” to increase their sales and promote loyalty in customers?  We must be innovative in these trying economic times right?  So here's my pitch.

Happy Ending Airlines invites you join the Mile High Club

For the LOVE of flying

• ·      We provide private Nap Lounges for couples to enjoy romantic encounters during all our flights over 5 hours then enjoy a complimentary bottle of sparkling cider.  

• ·      Card Carrying Club members receive free use of in flight nap lounges. 

• ·      Get the High Miler credit card with a $25,000 limit with your first “encounter” and earn double miles for each flight with an encounter. (Annual fee of $200 covers airliner cleaning services)

Whenever a couple exits the Nap Lounge the flight crew applaud like the TGI Friday’s wait staff on a birthday.  Couples receive the official High Miler Monthly Newsletter with great information such as:

Welcome New Club Members!   Jane and Bob McEarlane from Tacoma, WA  who joined the Happy Endings Mile High Club at 35,000 ft. over Boise, Id on their recent trip to Florida.  We’re so proud of you and wish you much success on your return flight!

There could be a High Milers Ranking list each month. 

The Smiths -              3 times at 32,000 and 1 at 36,000

The Bodnars -            2^nd time at 30,000ft over the Atlantic Ocean

And of course there would have to be an annual Awards Gala on the anniversary of the Wright Brothers first flight.  Dressed in finery the couple reaching the most annual Mile High Miles for the year will receiving a mirrored Nap Lounge trophy and voucher for a round trip fares to the city of their choice.

This could really work. I think I’ll begin contacting airlines today.  It will be the marketing innovation of the century!

She Was Not a Gypsy

The other day we were loading groceries into the car at a large hypermarket and were approached by a young woman asking for something.  This is not an unusual occurrence in any big city.  Here in Warsaw they are usually dark featured Roma wearing phony pathetic looks.  Gypsies.  As soon as you make it known you won’t give them money they drop the sad act until they see some other poor sap to work.  We’ve seen the same couple with the same baby in a carrier for the 2 years we’ve been here.  Amazing how a sleeping infant never moves or even grows in two years.  I’ve even seen that same woman dressed as an old woman sitting on the sidewalk begging.  I’m not naïve enough to think there are no economic or cultural conditions that have created this situation but I never give Gypsies money.  However, this was different.

Because of the regular occurrence of Gypsies approaching us, my first instinct is to pretend I don’t speak any Polish and disengage as quickly as possible.  I purposely use improper grammar and no accent at all.   When the young woman approached I was reaching for the cart to return it to the corral.  She said something about help in Polish and I responded with the equivalent of “she don’t speak Polish”.  She asked if I spoke English and I looked at her.  I tried to disengage but something in my heart melted.  In broken English, she asked for help with money or “to feed”.  No one ever asks for food…..  I was confused but on autopilot.  I pushed the cart away while my husband finished loading and closed the trunk.  He didn’t look at her at all.

Something wasn’t right.  Something felt very wrong.  I tried to offer her the cart because it gives back a coin.  I’ve had panhandlers, usually a drunk, ask me to return the cart so they could have the coin.  I stopped myself.  It felt like an empty gesture.  This girl was maybe early 20’s with pretty blue eyes.  She wasn’t dressed in the usual overplayed raggedy clothes and she didn’t have the overly pathetic look.  I’ll never forget her eyes.  There was desperation in them.  There was fear in them.  Her request didn’t feel rehearsed. 

When I returned to the car she had moved on and was tentatively walking towards another person loading their car.  My husband pulled the car away.  I said” lets give her all the coins in my wallet”.  (There is probably at least $10 worth of coins in my wallet at any given time.  Cashiers don’t like to take the coins.  Don’t ask my why.)  He said “you know we’re not supposed to give them money.”  We kept driving.  I told him “I don’t think she’s a gypsy” but by then it was too late.  We were already on our way.

He hadn’t seen her.  He hadn’t seen her eyes, her desperation, her fear.  Looking back, I know in my heart she was not a gypsy, not a scammer.  I think she really needed help and we just closed our trunk full of food.  She haunted me all night and still does.  What kind of human beings are we?  It rained all night and wondered where was she sleeping while I was cozy under my down comforter?  Where was her family?  What had happened to her that she had to resort to approaching strangers in a grocery store parking lot asking for something to eat.  What if she were my daughter? 

I send up a prayer that someone helped her or that I can find her again and connect her with the Volunteer Mission here in the city.   My heart breaks for her and I will look for her everywhere I go now.  Maybe I’m wrong but I don’t think so.  From now on I will follow my gut and look into their eyes and I will know the difference.

The Greatest Story Ever Told....well sort of

This past Easter we ate the Easter Bunny for dinner.  Yes, we had rabbit and we all loved it especially my 13 year old foodie.  We all got a chuckle out of the irony of rabbit for dinner.  But rabbits aren’t really what Easter is about anyway.  One of my favorite Easter stories happened 11 years ago and involves that same girl.

When we last lived in New Jersey we lived in an area that had a large population of retirement villages.  If you’ve read my blog called “The Recovering Catholic” you know I was Catholic most of my life.  We got married in a Catholic Church and I had both my daughters baptized there as well.  But the Catholic Church in my neighborhood was full of blue hair and sleepy sermons that meant nothing to a young mom with toddlers.   So I went looking something more meaningful where children we part of the program.  I found Redeemer Lutheran Church.  Everything seemed purposeful and I credit it to the pastor for sure.  My girls were 2 ½ and 4 at the time and the Pastor was about the same age as I was and had young family of his own. But somehow he always made his sermons worth listening to for everyone from the retirees to families to singles and even to little girls.  

            My girls enjoyed going to Church with me and we went regularly. We also sometimes read stories from their children’s bible as well.   But you never really know how much your little ones are taking in until they tell you and the younger one did just that.  She was still too young to attend Sunday school with her older sister so she usually sat with me and colored or just sat in my lap.  Easter Sunday she was sitting in my lap as usual, facing me and playing with my necklace.  The Pastor began his sermon.  I can remember the first few lines verbatim because of what happened next. 

He began  “On the third day Jesus rose again.  But that means absolutely nothing if you don’t first realize that Jesus died.”  Then he paused.  The little girl in my lap looked up at me with big startled eyes and in the quiet of that pause she practically shouted

“Jesus DIED?”

            Well everyone for several pews in front and back of us heard her and we all stifled a laugh at her beautiful honesty.  All I could do was chuckle, give her a big hug and I try come up with an answer that would satisfy her.  I really don’t remember what I said but whatever it was she accepted it and went back to playing with my necklace.  But she was obviously listening.  We may think we understand our children and often are able to predict their behavior but more often than not they will surprise us with the lucid thoughts and innocent perspective.  I miss that sweet little girl but I am proud of the beautiful confident teenager she has become who is still not afraid to speak her mind.

Dental Confessions...

I swear going to the dentist is like going to confession...."Forgive me father for I have sinned. It's been over 1 year since my last cleaning. I just didn't have the time nor do I floss every single day. For these things I am truly sorry." Fr. Dentist replies "I forgive you of your sins my child but here is your penance. I will take this Dremil tool and grind your teeth with it for 25 minutes whilst pulling your lips as far away from your face as I can. Now I will cover you teeth with this special gel. Then you must fast of all food and drink for 90 minutes and NO red wine or coffee today. AT ALL! This will cleanse your soul. Go in peace but come back in two weeks I found a filling we should replace. Amen"

My Article for Kontynent Warszawa

This is the article that was published for Kontynent Warszawa.  When published the article was translated into Polish.  So I can't read most of my own article anymore.   What a hoot!  But here it is in English.  If I can find the Polish version I'll post that too.

A recent statistic stated that there are approximately 6 million Americans living abroad.  It’s difficult to say how many Americans reside in Warsaw permanently.  But I have been told Americans are the largest expat group living in Poland and that most of those live in Warsaw.  I know several areas in the U.S. that also have large Polish populations including my home state of New Jersey.  So there is certainly some mutual attraction at work.  There seems to be a moderately sized American community here, most of whom truly enjoy Warsaw.  I have heard almost as many different avenues that brought Americans to Poland as I have met Americans living here.  They come for corporate jobs, business opportunities, university studies, Diplomatic efforts or they may have even followed a love.  Whatever brought them to Warsaw in the first place may not be what ultimately kept them here but either way most seem to have found a way to incorporate a little bit of America into their Polish lifestyle in order to carry on their traditions.

There are many different things I love about Warsaw.  Some things make me feel quite at home as they resonate with other familiar places and traditions of my own country. One of my favorite things about Warsaw has to be its cathedrals. The fascinating thing about cathedrals is just how many stories are held within their walls.  Poland’s history is at least a millennium long and has more stories to tell then we could count.  My favorite cathedral in Warsaw is the Field Cathedral of the Polish Army because most of Poland’s stories are somehow reflected here.  Whenever we have guests visiting from America I show them around Old Town and always include a stop at this cathedral.

I’ll never forget the first time I visited.  I could read very little Polish but I immediately recognized the armor of the Winged Hussars hanging on the walls.  I had read about them and had only ever pictured them in my imagination.  A full cavalry brigade of Hussars coming across a plain with their feathers moaning in the wind must have been a fearful sight and sound.   I shared the story with my children who later recognized that their new school’s mascot was a Hussar.   When the Winged Hussars were at their most famous the United States of America had yet to be been formed.  The length of Poland’s history by comparison seems unending.

Another feature of the cathedral that resonates with me is the chapel that is dedicated to the victims of the Katyn Massacre.   Walking into the chapel with the names of murdered officers individually listed is humbling.  The number 20,000 is just a number until you stand in the middle of all those names as they rise above your head and realize the enormity of the amount of lives lost.   It reminds me of the Vietnam War Memorial in Washington D.C.  A visitor to it walks down a sloping path beside a wall that lists the name of every American soldier who died in Vietnam.  By the time you get to the middle of the wall it towers over you and it’s overwhelming to say the least. 

Visiting the cathedrals of Warsaw I am also reminded of the Washington National Cathedral in Washington D.C.  It too is a reflection of a country with an interesting history.  This cathedral has hundreds of ornate adornments with some of the more amusing being the hippie gargoyle and a Darth Vader carving.  These are not symbols of irreverence but a reflection of American history and events that shaped its modern culture.   There are also centuries old stone pieces from two cathedrals in Europe to show the difference in age when compared to European cathedrals.  But the feature I’ve always found the most interesting is the Space Window.  It is a beautiful stained glass piece, which at its heart, it holds a piece of rock brought from the moon.  Polish born Copernicus would be proud to know his discoveries have been advanced to the point of regular space travel.

The Washington National Cathedral is a traditional Gothic cathedral yet built in 20^th century America.  As you know The Field Cathedral of the Polish Army, a centuries old cathedral, was destroyed at the end of WWII and carefully rebuilt.  Both are reflections of peoples and cultures that are a mixture of old and new.  Hundreds of years from now I am sure they will both continue to be visited and appreciated for the resilience they depict and the stories they preserve.

Remembering the stories of one’s national history is just one way to connect your host country and your home country.  When you constantly live outside your comfort zone very simple things begin to evoke subtle feelings of nostalgia.  Just hearing someone speaking American English can bring that feeling simply because I understood all the words they used.  However, last spring when I traveled to Austria and Hungary I found myself relieved once we returned to Poland where I could at least communicate, albeit haltingly, and read the road signs.  So it truly is relative.

 Food is another great vehicle for bringing people together and learning about a culture.  When I first arrived here in Poland it was my first time living overseas since college and I was excited.  I wanted everything Polish.  I had to eat where and what the Poles ate, drink what the Poles drank and speak like the Poles speak.  That last one is still a work in progress.  But after all this time I understand the need to find a little bit of home.  If I get a hankering for some American food and atmosphere there is one particularly good place to visit in Warsaw; Jeff’s on the edge of Pole Mokotowskie. Jeff’s is an American style restaurant with the typical diner style décor and Americana signage.  You can just take comfort in recognizing things you haven’t seen in a while and knowing that the staff will understand your English better than you can speak Polish.  Last fall we had an American friend visit from Kazakhstan.  There is very little in the way of an American escape for her there so we took her to Jeff’s for a burger and a feeling of home.  It did the trick.

With the Holiday season upon us everyone in Warsaw are sharing traditional meals of the season.  The American holiday of Thanksgiving passed just recently.  It is an important holiday in the United States and most Americans I know here in Warsaw continue to celebrate it.  It gives us a time to reflect on the good things in life while sharing a meal together.  The centerpiece of the meal is a roasted turkey and the side dishes are made with items found fresh during Autumn.  Even though some of the side dishes are regionally specific to America most items are also grown in Poland and can be found in local markets here in Warsaw.  An American friend invited a number of us to her home for dinner.  She and her husband took care of roasting the fresh local turkey and some of their favorite sides dishes and she asked us to each bring our favorite Thanksgiving dish.  I brought a pumpkin pie which is enjoyed not only on Thanksgiving but Christmas as well. There are many varieties of pumpkins here in Poland so I was easily able to recreate this American favorite for my family and friends.  

Many expats in Warsaw have also found that groups like American Friends of Warsaw (which is not just for Americans) and the PTO at the American School are great places to meet friends.  These are not only places to meet people but great resources for information as well.  They often organize social events and the AFW even hosts a Christmas party complete with a visit from an American Santa Claus.  So all in all Americans living in Warsaw have been able to carve out their own pockets of Americana within their Polish lifestyle just as many immigrants to America, including our many Poles, have maintained their home country traditions. 

Wesołych Świąt

Jackie Kennedy-Russo

Thanksgiving Pumpkin Pie

Cut up a small pumpkin, clean out the seeds and roast in oven on a baking sheet until soft all the way through.  Cool pumpkin, clean pulp from the rind and puree in food processor.  You can use all one kind of pumpkin or roast more than one kind and mix them together in equal parts.  (cooked pumpkin can be frozen as well)

Prepare 9 inch pie crust.  Line pie dish and set aside.

2 cups of the freshly pureed pumpkin

1 12 oz can of evaporated milk

2 eggs

¾ cup packed brown sugar or granulated brown sugar

2 teaspoons ground ginger

2 teaspoons freshly ground nutmeg

2 teaspoons ground cinnamon

½ teaspoon ground cloves

½ teaspoon salt

Preheat oven to 400˚F.  In a large bowl, with mixer at medium speed, beat pumpkin with the remaining ingredients until well mixed.  Pour pie mixture into pie plate.  Use a small pastry brush dipped in some milk to wet the edges of your crust to prevent over cooking it.  Place pie in oven for approximately 40 minutes or until pie appears solid in texture all over.  Remove from oven and cool 2 hours then chill 1 hour before serving.  It’s great served with freshly whipped cream dust with a little fresh nutmeg on top.  Serves 8 - 10