Recently, while traveling with my husband, I was flipping
through the inflight magazine…..what did you think I was gonna say? I did a double take when I thought I saw an
advertisement for a Mile High Club. It was actually an ad for the airline’s
frequent flyer club encouraging “high mileage”.
But it was an amusing mistake nonetheless. Then my mind began to wander,
as it often does when left unattended.
Unless
you are one of the superrich who travels in your own private jet, what is the
appeal? Slip into the head, which is
barely big enough for one adult let alone two, and make whoopee over the
toilet. Yeah, that’s hot. There's
really nothing sexy about being pressed up against the flusher while listening to
the flight attendants clang the food carts into motion. Or maybe you could have a semi discreet romp next
to some guy squeezed into the seat next you who smells like sausage. Now there’s a romantic encounter for the
ages.
Then I took it further….no not like that, like this: What if a good marketing firm convinced an
airline that it’s a good idea to create an actual “Mile High Club” to increase
their sales and promote loyalty in customers? We must be innovative in these trying economic times right? So here's my pitch.
Happy Ending Airlines invites you join the Mile High
Club
For the LOVE of flying
- · We provide private Nap Lounges for couples to enjoy romantic encounters during all our flights over 5 hours then enjoy a complimentary bottle of sparkling cider.
- · Card Carrying Club members receive free use of in flight nap lounges.
- · Get the High Miler credit card with a $25,000 limit with your first “encounter” and earn double miles for each flight with an encounter. (Annual fee of $200 covers airliner cleaning services)
Whenever a couple exits the Nap Lounge the flight crew applaud
like the TGI Friday’s wait staff on a birthday.
Couples receive the official High Miler Monthly Newsletter with great information such as:
Welcome New Club Members! Jane and Bob McEarlane from Tacoma, WA who joined the Happy Endings Mile High Club at 35,000 ft. over Boise,
Id on their recent trip to Florida. We’re
so proud of you and wish you much success on your return flight!
There could be a High Milers Ranking list each month.
The Smiths - 3
times at 32,000 and 1 at 36,000
The Bodnars - 2nd
time at 30,000ft over the Atlantic Ocean
And of course there would have to be an annual Awards Gala
on the anniversary of the Wright Brothers first flight. Dressed in finery the couple reaching the
most annual Mile High Miles for the year will receiving a mirrored Nap Lounge
trophy and voucher for a round trip fares to the city of their choice.
This could really work. I think I’ll begin contacting
airlines today. It will be the marketing
innovation of the century!
